Sunday, December 20, 2009

Chapter ten

December 15, 2009

As the New Year approaches I’m forcing myself to reflect on the past year - as cheesy as that may be. Many aspects of my life and my being have changed since last January. For starters, I graduated from college thus concluding my educational endeavors. That alone is huge! It’s a big deal because it signifies the end of nearly everything I was accustomed to during the past 16 years. I now start a new chapter in my life.

I’ve become more independent since last year. Moving away from the only city you’ve ever really known will do that to a person. With most of my friends several states away, I am forced to go places and do things by myself, which if you recall I never ever did in high school and college. I would rather stay in than go to a show, concert, etc by myself. Now, it’s become no big deal to venture out on my own – exploring a new, unfamiliar city. I also live alone – it wasn’t the original plan but life likes to throw me curve balls every now and than. By living on my own, I have really stepped up began to take pretty good care of myself: I do all of the cleaning, cooking, errand shopping, etc. and I must say, I can be pretty darn domestic now!

I’ve become more selfish in attaining my desires. By this I mean I often think about what it is that makes me happy and what I need to feel fulfilled in life, dance and beyond. Once I’ve determined these things I won’t settle for anything less. I am talented and have a lot to offer so why would I settle for anything but the very best? Yes, compromises have been made and will no doubt continue to be made, but in the grand scheme of things I want what I want and I will stop at nothing to attain those things.

I’ve also become a bit more secretive. It’s not that I have many secrets. Instead it means I no longer feel that all of the intimate details of my life need to be shared with everyone. What I do in my personal life, friend and love life, is my business and I simply don’t feel like I need to share those details with even some of my closest friends and family. Sure, I’ll spill a few things with a certain handful of people but for the most part I’ve learned to not share everything. It’s healthy to distinguish those things, I think.

We shall see what 2010 brings as the year unfolds. I hope to graduate from intern to apprentice with TDC…or find another comparable outlet for my dancing and financial needs if TDC doesn’t pan out the way I hope it will. I also hope to make Chicago my home instead of the place where I temporarily live. But mostly I hope to feel happy, satisfied and fulfilled in all aspects of my life.